Civil War Monuments are uprooting themselves and fleeing the onslaught of the Neo-Nazis

After the recent Charlottesville massacre many civil war monuments have decided to pack up camp and make a run ahead of the waves of Neo-Nazis. It appears even the blood lust slavers of the Old South can’t stand the odor of the new wave of US Neo-Nazis. All over the country they are uprooting themselves and hitching rides on passing trucks heading north to where it is safer.

Spokesperson for the Civil War Monuments, the Curator said that “they had a video hookup of many monuments including Lee, Stonewall Jackson and other Deep South legacy commanders. They all agreed that the threat to their legacy of being a warning about inhumane policies like slavery was at risk”.

The monuments are freaked out about Neo-Nazi psychos usurping their memory for their dirty white supremacy agenda. “sure we had slaves and slaughtered women and children like lame dogs, but we were never as bad as these new breed of psychos”, they collectively lamented.

Deep South Monument Shelters are being established as north as possible for escaping monuments to find a friendly landing spot and be among mutual friends. They were offered a hiding place in Washington DC but all categorically refused saying it was just plain too insane in that town and they preferred a quiet park somewhere to live out their legacy days.