Washington, DC – President Donald Trump recently began to utter the words “Pardon me” with regularity.

Although the President blames his chef’s spicy food and a busy travel schedule for his continuous desire to be pardoned, sources say he is worried that a presidential pardon may be necessary and he wants to makes sure his request is heard many times and fully understood by his staff.

Vice President Mike Pence took President Trump’s request so seriously that his staff is enthusiastically researching presidential pardons. Pence’s staff is working with surviving members of President Gerald Ford’s team on the matter. “Nixon, too, was known for saying ‘pardon me’ a lot, and also blamed spicy foods and travel, so that stuff is like code, just listen to the tapes.”

Meanwhile, White House staffers have been caught throwing tapes, microphones, wires and files into the recently formed Mar-a-Lago sinkhole in Florida. Noted one staffer caught in the act, “We were told to just throw away secret recipes for spicy foods, and any files in Cyrillic, which no one on staff can read anyway, and some old Nixon era equipment that doesn’t work, along with the Comey tapes, exactly like the President ordered.”

Sources say Trump’s Presidential Library will be developed over the sinkhole.

This story is still developing. Contact to provide details.


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